Nov16, 2009. The day would be marked as a new day in my life. Things are not only going to change but they would go for a toss. The outcome will have an impact on my life and surely is going to set a course for a brand new beginning. Although, I never thought that I would get released so soon but it seemed to be well planned. It would be too early to comment on it as there are still 2 days to Nov15, my release day. I thought that I would pen my thoughts for these days.
The office politics and drama continues. Let's have a look how it goes. I would request you to just have a look and not believe it as the things for granted. It can be specific to me only. So here it goes...
I was asked 3 months ago " What would you like to do? - technical work or managerial work ? Hopefully, it was my first trap. I left the decision to my manager as I was not sure and planned fr this question. Hopefully, It was my first mistake. My manager said "You should not only come into my role as I have recommended your name in front of others as a person leading this team but you should start leading from the front. Also, it is necessary that you come into my shoes so that I go up in hierarchy too." Till here --no issues and well said. I was delegated most of managerial work and thus it was decided that I am going on a managerial path. Two months ago, I heard "you should be promoted next promotion cycle as you are most suitable candidate. You should start leading team and take up tasks proactively."One month ago, I heard "I don't know if you would be promoted or not but definitely going to get a good hike." Although, I could see that statements were changing every fifteen days. Hopefully, it was an alarm which I ignored. Hopefully, this was my second mistake. Things do change but not as fast as the plans of my managers. You can easily guess the reason for so many changes in their plans as there are around 13 managers to manage 50 resources. Anyways, it is quite clear that they are fighting their battle for their own existence according to famous Darwin's statement " Survival for the fittest." I told my manager "May be I will not get anything - no promotion and no hikes because it is hard to trust management" but she said "You wait and watch." My project manager was trying to keep me hopeful. My manager is outcome of older policies of my company which keeps you always hopeful.
Finally, when my name never appeared in the list for promotion, I was told that you are getting released from the account. A strong sense of betrayal left a bad taste in my mouth. I had only one choice and that was "To React". But I had only one thought in my mind " people who can not stand on their statements are not trustworthy and it is always best to leave the company of such people and it was purely my mistake that I did not do it in first place. I went for this choice of mine and now I have to pay the price." I showed no reactions and will try to leave my place without making any noise. But should I? The taste of a betrayal will be always be in your mouth. It depends on your digestive system how fast you can digest it. But it is always good if you digest it fast and come up with a smiling face. That's how life goes and goes on. I did the same. I learn two things from this incident. In professional world " I am a victim and only I can help my self."
I have no hard personal feeling for anybody for my condition as it is going to be fine and it goes like this only. I was replaceable and thus was replaced. That's the hard truth. Now, I must find a place for me as soon as possible. This is the way things goes and will go. "Beggars are not choosers" and the other way is also true "Choosers are not beggars." Let's see what is there for me in future but right now things are gloomy.:). It all depends on the choices you make.
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