Today is Christmas Day. Everyone is supposed to be happy. I am also trying to make my self happy. But how? I can make others happy but not myself. There are few thoughts which are disturbing me. I am comparing my growth with others who joined the company with me and since I am no where closer to them it has started giving me a sense of discomfort as all of them got promoted except me. But am I supposed to think like that? Is that right? Few of my friends have made remarkable progress and they are now far ahead than me interms of salary as well as in terms of position. I think everyone compares himself with their friends or people they know. I can not find a single person who means what he says as they speak that they don't care these things. As per my understanding whatever we feel makes a print in our circuitry of brains and when we try to say something we want to create a impression on the others or circumstances that we don't care but in the background we do care.
Now, as I know what it means to be compared and feel sad. I today, promise myself that I am not going to compare my self with my colleagues or fiends for my entire life because it hurts deep inside my thinking process and makes gliches in my circuitry. I don't care anymore about those appraisal ratings which are just for the sake of some process and I Saurabh Kumar, promise myself that I will create my own way and I will not let anybody to compare me with anyone else. There is no limits for oppurtunities and there is no one who can play my God Father or mentor in this world. This means I have to take charge myself. Now, I will not let anyone take my charge or mentorship. I am not going to ask anyone for any favors or what I need or what I expect. No more promotion halla gulla, no cries for salary hikes. Now, onwards I will take my own decisions for everything. I will try my level best not to hurt anyone feelings and make everyone around me happy.
In one corner of my brain I feel as if I am sounding emotional and stupid or like a lost warrior or like frustrated professional but the truth is that I am making a commitment today to myself and till the time I exist, I will adhere to it. The reason why I am writing this because I should remember this moment to filter any such thoughts in future which is going to disturb me.
From today if I exists, it is because I am existing. Let the whole world play against or with me, I Saurabh Kumar will develop so many wings that I will not let my mind ever think of any kind of comparison. I wish Merry Christmas!! and prays to this world and mother Nature to help in my travel in this life without any friction. But if any friction comes I will make that path frictionless. I am going to assume that God is with me and whole world is against me from Day1. From day2, my aim is to win the confidence of this world on daily basis and make them come to my side.
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